Creating markets for useless gadgets

My friend Brian brought this to my attention. It’s fantastic! The RETRACTABLE HOSE, Central Vacuum System. Until reading the advert that he passed me, I did not even know these things existed. I am so excited, I want one.

So, here’s how it works;

Behind a convenient wall in your house you hide a huge container; attached to this container is very long hose (apparently they can cover up to 2,300 sq.ft.); the hose is used, with the help of your cleaning wand, to suck up the dirt in your house; to access the hose, a hole (outlet) is drilled into the wall and the end of the hose lies there, willing and able at any time, day or night, to be pulled out and extended to the required length, so you can vacuum your house.

When you have completed your vacuuming, you detach your wand and the suction from the central vacuum power unit, retracts the hose from whence it came. Simple!

User Testimonials exude compliments. “This system is the coolest thing in my new home, and because it is more convenient we clean more often, so our home is cleaner and healthier. My friends are very envious!!!”

I want to meet you, oh great user testimonial. My life feels incomplete now and I desire to be fulfilled like you. If an enormous hose that leaps from the wall at the touch of a button, ready to do your bidding does it for you, then I am missing out on something. I can only imagine the power that such a hose produces as it sucks away. I want my friends to envy me; to gather at my home and watch with amazement as I take my wand in hand; for their eyes to widen as I skip up the stairs, my lengthy hose in tow. Where would you hide your hose?

I bet you have great parties.

With Love