Creating markets for useless gadgets

My friend Brian brought this to my attention. It’s fantastic! The RETRACTABLE HOSE, Central Vacuum System. Until reading the advert that he passed me, I did not even know these things existed. I am so excited, I want one.

So, here’s how it works;

Behind a convenient wall in your house you hide a huge container; attached to this container is very long hose (apparently they can cover up to 2,300 sq.ft.); the hose is used, with the help of your cleaning wand, to suck up the dirt in your house; to access the hose, a hole (outlet) is drilled into the wall and the end of the hose lies there, willing and able at any time, day or night, to be pulled out and extended to the required length, so you can vacuum your house.

When you have completed your vacuuming, you detach your wand and the suction from the central vacuum power unit, retracts the hose from whence it came. Simple!

User Testimonials exude compliments. “This system is the coolest thing in my new home, and because it is more convenient we clean more often, so our home is cleaner and healthier. My friends are very envious!!!”

I want to meet you, oh great user testimonial. My life feels incomplete now and I desire to be fulfilled like you. If an enormous hose that leaps from the wall at the touch of a button, ready to do your bidding does it for you, then I am missing out on something. I can only imagine the power that such a hose produces as it sucks away. I want my friends to envy me; to gather at my home and watch with amazement as I take my wand in hand; for their eyes to widen as I skip up the stairs, my lengthy hose in tow. Where would you hide your hose?

I bet you have great parties.

With Love

Head Shots - Dont judge a book by its cover, people do, get over it

I was on a flight from Las Vegas to Seattle, passing the time by flicking through the in-flight magazine. As usual, adverts littered the pages with articles on various travel related issues. One advert in particular jumped out at me. "Psychiatric Counselling for Executives". It was not the subject matter that grabbed my attention, it was the photograph of the, I assume, service provider, Dr. Whatever-His-Name-Is.

I have always found it strange that people would place a photograph of themselves on their advertisements, as if it is some sort of hook to get people to think "Hey, I like the look of that person, that's the kind of person I want to deal with." They are everywhere and more noticeably on giant billboards as you drive along urban highways. These huge pictures of people, smiling invitingly, trying to give out reassuring vibes of trust and solidarity "Like you, like me."

I remember listening to one of those self help CD's many years ago and a section dealt with this issue specifically. The advice was, if you are going to use a photograph of yourself, make sure its one that's not that great- after all, you want people to be surprised on the upside and not on the downside, when they actually meet you. WHAT!!!? I would have thought that if you were going to display yourself in that way, you should make it look great!! you want people to come to see you surely, don't worry about how surprised they are going to be when they do.

Dr. Whatever-Your-Name-Is, change that photograph or better still, leave it off altogether. I am sure you are very nice person and good at what you do, but your photograph does not reflect well on you. In fact, it represented to me what an executive with psyciatric challenges may actually look like. STOP!

With Love